15 Minutes of Reflection

Its been a long day, and I feel the need to record God's goodness through today, but know I need sleep... so I have 15 minutes. *is determined*

Last week, I was miserable, emotional, and exhausted. I had a touch of a cold I think, but circumstances didn't allow me to get out of work... so I just exhausted myself further by pouring tears as I washed the dishes. I was not a happy camper for several days in a row... which is very unusual for me, even if I'm exhausted. Anyway... I collapsed into bed sobbing one night after being chastised over some terribly silly thing and just started flipping through the Psalms. I was too tired to even hold my head up to read, so I just layed with my head on the edge of my bed and my Bible on the floor. I read, "But my eyes are toward You, O God, my Lord; in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless!"

I repeated that over and over, memorizing it as I took a shower. I was miserable because I was focused on myself, not others, or my Savior. In speech class the other day we learned that if you focus on your audience and their needs rather than yourself and your fear, you will overcome a lot of the fear of public speaking. I was so focused on myself and how tired I was from working hard all day that I was not able to think about what others needed or remember that He can sustain me through anything.

Today, I felt like a different person. I was able to deal with not only all the cooking, processing, cleaning, laundry, packing, and sewing with cheerfulness and pep in my step, but also able to care for the children with patience and effectiveness while Daddy, Mommy, and Willa were sick. It was a very good day, even though I didn't get done nearly what I needed to get done. But, I could feel His hand guiding me all day and showing me the amazing things that can happen when I am focused on Him and not on myself.

But, speaking of myself, it is 11:20, my beauty rest time, so au revoir.